Decisions, decisions.

Learning versus training.

It’s an important decision don’t you think?

Probably one of the most important decisions you’ll make today.

How much time do you spend on learning, education, drills and networking?

How much time do you devote to training, fitness and strength?

When I was growing up, there was a significant shortage of soccer information and advice. Not only soccer information but information in general. After being kicked out of the library on a number of occasions and reading all the soccer books covered in dust, it was time to start training.

Things are very different today. The Internet, Google, Facebook, Twitter, Social media and the Iphone create an endless supply of knowledge with a few clicks of a button. Gone are the library cards, the overdue fines and the librarian’s dirty looks.

Opinions, expertise and advice can be delivered to your screen in seconds. But do not spend your free time surfing the net for the latest craze or gimmick.

Ask questions, ask for advice and seek help from soccer professionals who love the game.

Training is paramount for soccer success. The time spent on the green pastures brings you one step closer to your soccer dream. Difficulties that surface during training should be discussed with your coach or parents. If you want a second opinion ask the soccer world.

You could have some of the best soccer advice delivered to your doorstep with a few clicks of the mouse.

However

Always train first and ask questions later.

Always train first and educate yourself later.

The internet is 24 hours whilst the window for training is limited.

Here is a list of some great soccer personalities/coaches that are always willing to lend a hand with some friendly advice. In no specific order

Jared Montz “Believe in it” twitter:@JaredMontz

Aaron Danks twitter:@coachdanks

Justin Wheatley twitter: @CoachJustin76

Mike Beale twitter:@MikeBealesoccer

Jerry Macnamara twitter:@soccerclassroom

Pavl Williams twitter:@betterfootball

Daniel Abrahams twitter:@DanAbrahams77

Chris Gooch twitter:@Quest2Coach

Chris Hodgson Twitter:@Soccer20_Hodga

Hugo Langton twitter:@Baldy1974

Ben Trinder twitter:@19BRT

TWSports.Org Group twitter:@twsportsgroup

Make sure to follow them on twitter.

If you believe a soccer identity should be placed on this list don’t hesitate to suggest them. Leave a comment and I will be more than happy to add them to our soccer family. If you’re willing to help and have something to offer don’t hesitate to nominate yourself.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

From the day we are born we are constantly bombarded with rules and regulations. Misbehave and you’re destined for punishment. Obey and for some strange reason you’re doing okay.

A child enters the education system and is told to sit up straight, listen and to stop talking. The child leaves school and enters the work force only to present a resume that details his or her levels of obedience. Life has become a long list of instructions everyone needs to obey.

My question to you is this, does obedience create success or transform into success?

Does listening to others guarantee the one thing that you so desperately seek?

The beauty of being a child is the freedom you have to let your imagination run free, dream the impossible and take on the biggest of obstacles. Authority and society quickly react to put you in place and squash any dream before it eventuates.

The rationale?

Obedience transforms into success.

Obedience means you develop and learn new skills at training.

Obedience means you’re liked amongst your team mates and peers.

I’m guessing that your children obey the coach, the teachers and to some extent the law. Does this guarantee any form of success?

Are they successful?

Here’s a thought.

Before we implement rules, regulations, restrictions and strive for obedience, let’s talk about something else.

Let’s talk about sacrifice, discipline and self control.

Let’s talk about training to the point where your eyes bleed and your body shuts down.

Let’s talk about awareness and the reasons (the real reasons) why so many expect you to act a certain way.

Let’s talk about the reasons why so many children quit the game before they become teenagers.

Let’s talk about intimidation, fear and abuse that is sometimes utilised to control young children.

If you’re children are going to succeed in soccer they need to ask questions, splash the elbow grease on and work on their self control and discipline. Most reading this will claim that self control and discipline are forms of obedience.

However

Nothing wrong with listening to yourself.

Nothing wrong with believing in yourself.

Nothing wrong with going against the norm to accomplish what you want.

Forget about obedience and listen to that little voice inside your head.

P-L-E-A-S-E

Help me understand how obedience guarantees soccer success.

If you think or sense something’s wrong, chances are it is. Before you seek obedience, seek the truth and believe in yourself.

Your friendly Anarchist

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars”

This is something I’ve seen first hand as a child, player, coach and parent.

The best players are not always picked in the first eleven.

The best players are not always selected to represent their State.

The best players are overlooked by scouts or not given trials to some of the bigger clubs.

How could this be?

The players that do get picked aren’t necessarily the ones who spend all their time training in an organized team environment.

The players that get picked are the ones that often play in the park, play in the backyard or play in the street with their friends. They play without the constant avalanche of instructions from their coach or their parents. They play with freedom, with friends and the sound of laughter signifies the lack of supervision.

Playing without supervision allows these children to play without judgment, without fear and the freedom to play without second guessing every movement. Informal settings or “organized chaos” as I like to call it, allows young children to excel by becoming quicker on their feet, improve coordination and increase levels of exuberance by competing for bragging rights amongst the gang.

Young kids that play consistently in a structured environment or a professional team environment are less exuberant and experience burn out and a very young age. Also their intensity and effort tends to suffer as they become self conscious of making mistakes and trying to please all the watchful eyes.

Don’t get me wrong here; structured training sessions are important for learning and development. However, as parents it’s our job to strike a delicate balance between structured training and organized chaos.

Young players need training and guidance from experienced coaches to master new skills but they also need the enthusiasm, freedom and passion that comes from having fun with their friends.

Think about it.

If your child is enthusiastic, passionate and having fun, he or she is more likely to play freely, creatively whilst taking measured risks. They will stand out like a sore thumb and usually get picked by scouts or selected for their State.

Young players that are burnt out or have had the life sucked out of them through continuous structured training often go through the motions and are less likely to stand out when its crunch time.

The Solution

“Organise Chaos”

Soccer parents should get together and round up all the kids in the neighborhood and organize a weekly match at the local park. Once the game is organized the parents must step back and watch the chaos unfold.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars”

Small, annoying things?

Disobedience?

Lack of effort?

The sound of laughter?

We tend to discredit the small annoying things because our attention is on accomplishing the big things like finally finding that elusive manager waving the million dollar contract. It’s funny how so many parents have searched for him and come up short.

But can you really afford to discredit the small things?

Would you ignore sand in your shoes before running a marathon?

Would you ignore that mosquito bite that constantly itch’s?

Would you ignore the annoyed cries of your wife in the next bedroom?

Every time you make contact with something that annoys you or something that aggravates you, chances are you’re going to accept it.

What happens next?

Your acceptance leads towards resentment and the winds from your sails slowly but surely deflate and submerge under the frosty, cold waters.

Don’t worry it gets better.

Resentment usually leads to frustrations and helplessness and inevitably will have you waving the white flag and tearing shreds out of your child. Status quo anyone?

Here’s a little advice for all soccer parents.

Open your eyes!

Observe!

Take note.

Really notice what’s rubbing you the wrong way when you watch your child play. When you deal with your annoyances or frustrations you don’t become a control freak or a dictator. You become the master of your reality (whether it’s right or wrong). You also become the catalyst for your child’s soccer success.

Forget about the big picture for one moment and concentrate on the NOW.

When you address the small stuff and get them right, you can finally get back to your witch hunt.

Next time you’re watching your child play take note of what’s annoying you. Make some mental notes and plan to eradicate them.

Would you allow the flies to settle on you on a hot summer’s day? Or would you quickly move your hands to get rid of those suckers?

Your child deserves a similar response, not acceptance.

Start today, fix the small stuff and the manager you desperately seek may appear before you.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

These guys watch in silence and relive their soccer career. Memories that seem to last when the faded jersey that no longer fits doesn’t.

If you’re not willing to let go, watching soccer, especially kid’s soccer can be excruciatingly boring in that it’s so predictable. The lies, the evasions, the transparent self justification and anger that sparks when your child gets distracted and finds refuge in kicking the mud instead of the ball.

Parents yelling instructions, abuse and the continued praise that is jam packed with artificial sweeteners plays out like an opera that has a predictable ending with the young hero losing his innocence and inevitably the spotlight.

Like my girlfriend reminds me every day, “it’s not about you!”

I couldn’t agree with her more as the gulping noise swallows my EGO.

We’ve talked about it a hundred times, haven’t we? Do not live your sporting failures through your children. Do not live anything through your children. Guide them, protect them, love them and let them forge out their own path and destiny.

The old saying “If you love someone you’ll set them free” rings alarmingly true in this case.

Let your children go!

Let YOUR dreams fade, step back and hold the spotlight for your children.

If you’re not willing to let go, kid’s soccer becomes boring.

What does boring look like in this case?

Something that’s boring goes nowhere. It travels in a vicious circle and never arrives at its destination. The circular nature of the frustrated soccer parent is what makes it excruciating. The child doesn’t develop and no progress is ever made. The drive home is full of disappointment, frustrations and the silence is deafening until its time to do it all over again.

What ever the reasons, it’s difficult to overcome the forces of self sabotage that stop us from achieving the life we want. Everybody does it, including you!

Don’t believe me?

When you wake up every morning, are you, going to work or are you following your dreams or living the life you want?

Told you so!

Since we are not chasing our dreams, the next easy step is to seek relief from the pain, the guilt and to submerge our lives into our children and make them try and live our dreams because we’ve missed the boat or don’t have the guts to change things.

The three boys in the photo mean the world to me. One scores goals and terrorizes his age group. The other sings like an angel, reads better than me and would be a great player if he wasn’t such a perfectionist. The little one just giggles and laughs when I dance in front of him.

Will they play soccer professionally like I did?

Who cares!

What drives me and inspires me is their smile.

So next time you’re freezing and watching them kick the ball around free yourself of the tyranny of your EGO. You know the one! That piss poor ego that devalues your children’s life.

Remember…..

“It’s not about YOU”. Insight may come in a flash, but it’s the result of accumulated experiences- whether you like it or not.

Light bulb moments in life are often triggered by little things. It only takes one ounce of awareness and a beautiful SMILE to change everything.

Think about it!

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”