Decisions, decisions.

Learning versus training.

It’s an important decision don’t you think?

Probably one of the most important decisions you’ll make today.

How much time do you spend on learning, education, drills and networking?

How much time do you devote to training, fitness and strength?

When I was growing up, there was a significant shortage of soccer information and advice. Not only soccer information but information in general. After being kicked out of the library on a number of occasions and reading all the soccer books covered in dust, it was time to start training.

Things are very different today. The Internet, Google, Facebook, Twitter, Social media and the Iphone create an endless supply of knowledge with a few clicks of a button. Gone are the library cards, the overdue fines and the librarian’s dirty looks.

Opinions, expertise and advice can be delivered to your screen in seconds. But do not spend your free time surfing the net for the latest craze or gimmick.

Ask questions, ask for advice and seek help from soccer professionals who love the game.

Training is paramount for soccer success. The time spent on the green pastures brings you one step closer to your soccer dream. Difficulties that surface during training should be discussed with your coach or parents. If you want a second opinion ask the soccer world.

You could have some of the best soccer advice delivered to your doorstep with a few clicks of the mouse.

However

Always train first and ask questions later.

Always train first and educate yourself later.

The internet is 24 hours whilst the window for training is limited.

Here is a list of some great soccer personalities/coaches that are always willing to lend a hand with some friendly advice. In no specific order

Jared Montz “Believe in it” twitter:@JaredMontz

Aaron Danks twitter:@coachdanks

Justin Wheatley twitter: @CoachJustin76

Mike Beale twitter:@MikeBealesoccer

Jerry Macnamara twitter:@soccerclassroom

Pavl Williams twitter:@betterfootball

Daniel Abrahams twitter:@DanAbrahams77

Chris Gooch twitter:@Quest2Coach

Chris Hodgson Twitter:@Soccer20_Hodga

Hugo Langton twitter:@Baldy1974

Ben Trinder twitter:@19BRT

TWSports.Org Group twitter:@twsportsgroup

Make sure to follow them on twitter.

If you believe a soccer identity should be placed on this list don’t hesitate to suggest them. Leave a comment and I will be more than happy to add them to our soccer family. If you’re willing to help and have something to offer don’t hesitate to nominate yourself.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

From the day we are born we are constantly bombarded with rules and regulations. Misbehave and you’re destined for punishment. Obey and for some strange reason you’re doing okay.

A child enters the education system and is told to sit up straight, listen and to stop talking. The child leaves school and enters the work force only to present a resume that details his or her levels of obedience. Life has become a long list of instructions everyone needs to obey.

My question to you is this, does obedience create success or transform into success?

Does listening to others guarantee the one thing that you so desperately seek?

The beauty of being a child is the freedom you have to let your imagination run free, dream the impossible and take on the biggest of obstacles. Authority and society quickly react to put you in place and squash any dream before it eventuates.

The rationale?

Obedience transforms into success.

Obedience means you develop and learn new skills at training.

Obedience means you’re liked amongst your team mates and peers.

I’m guessing that your children obey the coach, the teachers and to some extent the law. Does this guarantee any form of success?

Are they successful?

Here’s a thought.

Before we implement rules, regulations, restrictions and strive for obedience, let’s talk about something else.

Let’s talk about sacrifice, discipline and self control.

Let’s talk about training to the point where your eyes bleed and your body shuts down.

Let’s talk about awareness and the reasons (the real reasons) why so many expect you to act a certain way.

Let’s talk about the reasons why so many children quit the game before they become teenagers.

Let’s talk about intimidation, fear and abuse that is sometimes utilised to control young children.

If you’re children are going to succeed in soccer they need to ask questions, splash the elbow grease on and work on their self control and discipline. Most reading this will claim that self control and discipline are forms of obedience.

However

Nothing wrong with listening to yourself.

Nothing wrong with believing in yourself.

Nothing wrong with going against the norm to accomplish what you want.

Forget about obedience and listen to that little voice inside your head.

P-L-E-A-S-E

Help me understand how obedience guarantees soccer success.

If you think or sense something’s wrong, chances are it is. Before you seek obedience, seek the truth and believe in yourself.

Your friendly Anarchist

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars”

Small, annoying things?

Disobedience?

Lack of effort?

The sound of laughter?

We tend to discredit the small annoying things because our attention is on accomplishing the big things like finally finding that elusive manager waving the million dollar contract. It’s funny how so many parents have searched for him and come up short.

But can you really afford to discredit the small things?

Would you ignore sand in your shoes before running a marathon?

Would you ignore that mosquito bite that constantly itch’s?

Would you ignore the annoyed cries of your wife in the next bedroom?

Every time you make contact with something that annoys you or something that aggravates you, chances are you’re going to accept it.

What happens next?

Your acceptance leads towards resentment and the winds from your sails slowly but surely deflate and submerge under the frosty, cold waters.

Don’t worry it gets better.

Resentment usually leads to frustrations and helplessness and inevitably will have you waving the white flag and tearing shreds out of your child. Status quo anyone?

Here’s a little advice for all soccer parents.

Open your eyes!

Observe!

Take note.

Really notice what’s rubbing you the wrong way when you watch your child play. When you deal with your annoyances or frustrations you don’t become a control freak or a dictator. You become the master of your reality (whether it’s right or wrong). You also become the catalyst for your child’s soccer success.

Forget about the big picture for one moment and concentrate on the NOW.

When you address the small stuff and get them right, you can finally get back to your witch hunt.

Next time you’re watching your child play take note of what’s annoying you. Make some mental notes and plan to eradicate them.

Would you allow the flies to settle on you on a hot summer’s day? Or would you quickly move your hands to get rid of those suckers?

Your child deserves a similar response, not acceptance.

Start today, fix the small stuff and the manager you desperately seek may appear before you.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

These guys watch in silence and relive their soccer career. Memories that seem to last when the faded jersey that no longer fits doesn’t.

If you’re not willing to let go, watching soccer, especially kid’s soccer can be excruciatingly boring in that it’s so predictable. The lies, the evasions, the transparent self justification and anger that sparks when your child gets distracted and finds refuge in kicking the mud instead of the ball.

Parents yelling instructions, abuse and the continued praise that is jam packed with artificial sweeteners plays out like an opera that has a predictable ending with the young hero losing his innocence and inevitably the spotlight.

Like my girlfriend reminds me every day, “it’s not about you!”

I couldn’t agree with her more as the gulping noise swallows my EGO.

We’ve talked about it a hundred times, haven’t we? Do not live your sporting failures through your children. Do not live anything through your children. Guide them, protect them, love them and let them forge out their own path and destiny.

The old saying “If you love someone you’ll set them free” rings alarmingly true in this case.

Let your children go!

Let YOUR dreams fade, step back and hold the spotlight for your children.

If you’re not willing to let go, kid’s soccer becomes boring.

What does boring look like in this case?

Something that’s boring goes nowhere. It travels in a vicious circle and never arrives at its destination. The circular nature of the frustrated soccer parent is what makes it excruciating. The child doesn’t develop and no progress is ever made. The drive home is full of disappointment, frustrations and the silence is deafening until its time to do it all over again.

What ever the reasons, it’s difficult to overcome the forces of self sabotage that stop us from achieving the life we want. Everybody does it, including you!

Don’t believe me?

When you wake up every morning, are you, going to work or are you following your dreams or living the life you want?

Told you so!

Since we are not chasing our dreams, the next easy step is to seek relief from the pain, the guilt and to submerge our lives into our children and make them try and live our dreams because we’ve missed the boat or don’t have the guts to change things.

The three boys in the photo mean the world to me. One scores goals and terrorizes his age group. The other sings like an angel, reads better than me and would be a great player if he wasn’t such a perfectionist. The little one just giggles and laughs when I dance in front of him.

Will they play soccer professionally like I did?

Who cares!

What drives me and inspires me is their smile.

So next time you’re freezing and watching them kick the ball around free yourself of the tyranny of your EGO. You know the one! That piss poor ego that devalues your children’s life.

Remember…..

“It’s not about YOU”. Insight may come in a flash, but it’s the result of accumulated experiences- whether you like it or not.

Light bulb moments in life are often triggered by little things. It only takes one ounce of awareness and a beautiful SMILE to change everything.

Think about it!

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

With the change in season I’ve come across some large spider webs in the backyard with happy spiders displaying the no vacancy sign due the influx of trapped flies.

As my mouth drooled I managed to free a butterfly that was trapped only if he agreed to stay away from my BBQ. The deal was accepted while the spider looked on in disbelief.

You’re probably thinking, huh, but hear me out.

The biggest problem/s facing kid’s soccer these days can be related back to the spider web. Funny how my mind comes up with this kind of stuff.

We’ve all seen spider webs and witnessed the misfortunate stuck, waiting for their death.

But here’s a thought.

Picture young players caught in the middle of a large spider web. They’re stuck in the middle and like most people, scared. After all, big spider web usually equates to big spider, maybe even two.

Being stuck in the middle creates confusion, paralysis, soccrastination and generally a sense of fear.

Okay enough of the spiders for a minute.

All development, growth and improvements happen in spurts or stages. A child learns how to crawl, walk and run in that order. It’s a process.

Within each stage, the child comes to a point where further development or improvements are no longer possible. Whether it’s the coach, team or environment, certain skills, knowledge or techniques become inadequate for the young player to progressively develop.

Status quo anyone?

In most cases, this state of paralysis (fear) becomes permanent, which is why so many children will quit the game before they become teenagers. They simply fail to grow beyond a particular stage of development.

Let’s eliminate some of the common problems a young player might face for a second such as inadequate coaches, bullying, unnecessary pressure and the lack of focus.

What could be the problem now?

Can you identify any others?

How about experience?

That’s right experience!

Within each stage of development, we gain experience, knowledge and wisdom which usually come from the school of hard knocks. By engaging in the great game of soccer, we never know when we are going to enter a new stage. We never know when the improvements we desperately seek will eventually surface.

Do we?

The little boy who learnt how to walk, run and now juggle a ball has paid a price. Believe it or not, experience has a price.

Each goal we achieve, each improvement we identify, each problem we’ve overcome adds to our confusion. Each hurdle we leap frog represents one more strand in the web.

As we finally move away from the center of the web, we’re constantly confronted with new layers of web. As we continue to develop and improve, at some point, we get caught, troubled by a new web strand. Improvements suddenly stop and inhibit our ability to learn new drills and techniques.

So what happens, we get stuck. Just like a fly struggling to escape. Get passed one layer, two layers and finally give up on the third.

Our ability to improve and train suddenly stops with a mass of accumulated experience that waits for our spider to feed. The journey of soccer doesn’t stop when we get stuck, unlike the fly waiting for those hairy, creepy legs. Something else occurs.

Any ideas?

When we’re stuck or faced with problems we get very good at developing habits. Especially those bad ones.

Habits like

-hiding at the back of training drills

-refusing to kick or practice with your weaker foot

-compromising development for victories and the list goes on.

These habits which are formed by experience can turn us into spider fodder. We become overwhelmed with confusion, paralysis and fear that comes from years of accumulated experience.

Simply playing or training harder, faster and longer doesn’t necessarily work all the time if you do not address the other issues. Image, confidence, self esteem and praising effort rather than ability are key contributors.

If you’re finding this difficult, which it is, don’t worry.

All stages of improvements and levels of playing ability form new stands in your web. So if you’re finding that some of the fun and excitement of being a soccer player/parent is fading, remember the fly trapped in the middle of the web.

Each new strand of web is just one step closer to freedom and that elusive professional contract. Most will not escape the spider. Will you?

So many young players are walking through life dazed.

They’re tired.

They’re exhausted.

They’re trapped in the middle of their web and the battle hasn’t even begun.

They can hardly move.

We make soccer complicated. It doesn’t have to be!

3 Steps to free your children from the Spider.

Step 1 Love your children.

Step 2 Love your children.

Step 3 Grab a large broom (practice, practice, practice) and help tear down those spider webs.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”