Can you guess the secret?

Read the opening sentence again. Any ideas? Don’t despair if you can’t see it, just keep reading.

Did you find the introduction compelling? Did it grab your attention? If so, why? If you’re not following me answer this, who is this post for? Soccer Mastermind is a blog for whom? The hours I spend researching, coming up with ideas, writing, re-writing, pulling my hair out and banging my head on the desk are for whom?

The most important word from the introduction is YOU. This post is for YOU. Soccer Mastermind is for you, although at times it’s difficult not to get into the self absorbed stuff, you know, I was this and I did that.

But as you read along, following these words as I t-y-p-e, you must realize, that this is for you. Why?

Simple!

YOU are the most important player in the world. That’s right, YOU! Not only are you the most important player in the world, YOU are the most important person in the world. Not your coach, not your manager, but YOU.

Next time you have a decision to make, a crossroad to pass or a bridge to cross, I dare YOU, yes YOU, to make the decision. At the end of the day, at the end of every training session and at the end of every season, who is the most important player in the world?

Soccer should always be about the “YOU SHOW”. Enjoy the ride because you’re the star.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

It’s been 5 years since retirement. Where does time go? One thing I’ve noticed is that I’m starting to put on the kilos. You know, around the waist, the love handles, carrying the spare tyre.

This transformation leads me to an emotion that sometimes plagues me, like the leaking tap that no matter how hard you turn the handle, it continues to drip.

The emotion I’m talking about is shame.

Let’s face it, who hasn’t felt shame. You let someone down or you’ve stabbed someone in the back, shame. That chocolate cake you just finished while loosening your belt, shame. Not stopping to lend a hand when someone is in distress, shame.

Although shame is an emotion, it can also become a state or a condition. Charles Darwin has studied shame; remember him, the evolution and survival of the fittest guy.

In his book, “The expression of Emotion in Man and Animals” he witnessed and described the shame affect. He observed symptoms like blushing, confusion, looking downwards, laziness and bad posture. Most of these observations were seen in animals, but lets talk about us for a minute.

We all associate shame with dishonor, guilt and condemnation, don’t we? Some would say its human nature; others would argue you need to suffer for your sins.

But what do you think?

Is shame a good thing or a bad thing?

Do you want my thoughts, drum roll please.

Shame is a good thing if interpreted correctly and controlled. Shame is an emotion we feel when we are guilty.

Shame and guilt are an unpleasant sensation. It can grab you by the throat and lift you off the ground. It can curl you up and cut you at the waist.

BUT

This unpleasant sensation will make you take action, make you stand up and rise above adversity.

Do you think I’m joking? (Gym sessions start in 2 weeks)

Shame was used back in the days with all warriors. The Spartans would fight against all odds. Take on the biggest armies even if it meant death, than succumb to shame.

What about the Samurai culture, “you must die with honor”. Shame did not exist in their language.

Same principles were used with the Zulus and the American Indians. These warriors would march to their death and would never surrender to their fears.

Do you know why?

Don’t get me wrong here, these warriors had fears and were scared, but they did not want to deal with shame. They tried to avoid it at all costs.

Fear is what inevitably holds you back. What fear?

Fear of not making the cut.

Fear of getting dropped from the squad.

Fear that the coach will not play you. Fear this, fear that.

Before I make my point I’d like to use another example. What about drug addicts or alcoholics? The stories are all the friggin same. A succession of personal failures, defeats and betrayals that eventually results in rehab.

Why?

Because the ultimate debacle is shame. Shame is the last straw. Drug addicts and alcoholics go to rehab because of shame.

What’s more important than shame?

Self respect.

When we have self-respect we can look at any situation and say, “I’m better than this.”

So think about these for a moment.

Don’t you think it would be a shame to play in fear?

Don’t you think it would be a shame if you quit the game?

Don’t you think it would be a shame if you were the reason why your child quit the game?

Don’t you think it would be a shame if you spent your youth in front of the television?

This might be a little left of field for some, but shame should be your best friend. If you feel shame, chances are you’re doing something wrong. Shame packs a nasty punch and the sting can last a life time.

So turn off the Nintendo, throw away the KFC and start training. There’s no shame in that.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”