There you are, scratching your head, hoping for the answer to magically appear, but it never does. Somewhere inside your child is the answer that you’ll need to figure out.

Some people might frown and label you “pushy” or too demanding. Your child is already doing well but lacks the discipline and motivation to take it to the next level. Several parents have given glowing feedback and definitely see potential. But you shrug this off and consider the word “potential” to simply mean, “Haven’t made it yet”.

Discipline= Resistance+1

A couple of days ago, I came across a show that involved troublesome teens given new parents, a parent swap if you like. The initial days went according to plan with the teens running the show with foul language, alcohol and a lack of respect. The Americans that took on these Aussies certainly had their hands full, at times, struggling to come to grips with their behavior and their resistance to work. But to their credit, they persisted and matched the teen’s resistance with resistance+1.

Cut a long story short.

The new parents didn’t back down and continued to apply discipline when required. They introduced routine, responsibility and accountability. The teens had several melt downs to start with and certainly missed the freedom that they had once taken for granted. But with time, discipline, respect and love the teens evolved into caring little adults. Adults that started to miss their families and started to care for their new foster family. What they once took for granted and loathed now became the missing piece to the puzzle.

You sigh again and get off the couch and make your way to bed.

Soccer just like any other sport has the dreaded plateau. I like to refer to it as “Death Valley”.

Anyone Can play the Game, right?

If you train hard and discipline yourself you may even taste success. But at some point during your career, the development and gains start to diminish and you become stale. This my friends is Death Valley where thousands if not millions get lost each year. They give up before they get to harvest what they had sowed for so many years. They give up just before the finish line.

As you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, you remember the mad dash to the hospital and the first time they placed your son in your hands. As the tear hits your pillow you decide that what ever your child wants, you will PROVIDE. If he wants support, you offer support+1. If he wants more training, you offer training +1. If he wants to try something new, you offer new+1.

You can hear something odd in the background. The alarm clock interrupts your sleep and you gather your thoughts. As you sit on the edge of your bed you remember Love Based Soccer.

It’s not a coincidence and it’s definitely not the matrix.

Could the missing piece to the puzzle be Love Based Soccer+1?

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

Do all soccer players behave professionally?

More importantly do you?

Before you can behave professionally you need to work out a few ground rules first.

You need to draw the “line in the sand”.

Soccer behaviour but more importantly professional behaviour is about the interactions that you have with others during soccer training or a match.

Think about this for a minute.

The day to day events of getting along with people at soccer defines how you feel about soccer.

You don’t believe me!

Ask any young player that has been bullied, intimidated, abused or even discriminated whilst playing soccer? Ask him how he feels about the beautiful world game?

But remember this, the way you respond to other teammates, coaches or managers plays a big part in defining their soccer experiences.

So what happens when those around you behave unprofessionally?

More importantly, what do you do when those around you misbehave?

Can I guess?

You probably choose to “let it go” because you decide that the behaviour while unprofessional, is not important. Chances are you will also find that when it comes to your unprofessional behaviour, your teammates and coaches will often choose to “let it go” for the same reasons.

Just a friendly reminder, there are times when you should not or cannot let things go. Unacceptable behaviour is exactly that, unacceptable.

This is where you must draw the line!

Easier said than done, don’t you think? So where do you draw the line?

With all that said, it isn’t always easy to know where to draw the line.

Do you know why?

For starters, the line can vary from player to player. The line in the sand also operates at different levels. Two quick and easy examples are the club level and the player level.

At the club level, acceptable behaviour is based on club values, rules and the environment. Do you feel your club has a clear definition of what is considered to be acceptable behaviour?

If not! Why not?

“Lines in the sand” only works when the players and the club have a clear understanding of the rules and what is deemed unacceptable.

Don’t get me wrong here, most players want to play respectfully and are hungry to learn. But every team must welcome the “line in the sand” mentality to ensure that those who are disrespectful are supported to change or kicked out if they continue to cross the line.

So what next?

How do you as a player take a stand?

As a player, the one thing you have control over is how you choose to deal with a situation.

Ask yourself,

“How far has the line in the sand been crossed?”

In most cases you can talk directly and respectfully to a teammate, coach or your manager to resolve the problem. This would normally result in a positive outcome for everyone involved.

But what happens when it’s your supporters or even worse, the travelling fans?

What do you do?

This is very important so listen up.

The extent to which the line has been crossed may be so severe that it becomes dangerous to you and your team. As a result other channels are needed in the form of Police. You or the club cannot control problems such as hooliganism.

Don’t even try to draw a line on hooligans.

It’s a lost cause!

The points I’m trying to make here are simple,

Check the mirror from time to time and ask that handsome player in the mirror, “am I behaving professionally?”

Spend a little time thinking about how you can resolve certain problems and who you can confide in.

Last but not least, unacceptable behaviour in the form of intimidation, bullying, violence, racism or discrimination should never be tolerated or accepted.

Remember to draw the line in the sand and act professionally. After all, you are chasing a professional contract, aren’t you?

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

Disruptive behaviour from a player or a number of players within your team is due to a lack of interest. Your probably wondering “a lack of interest”, these kids are attending my training sessions. “If they are not interested they shouldn’t attend”, you think to yourself. However, most young children are forced to play soccer by their parents. So how do we avoid disruptive behaviour? A better question to answer is “what causes this disruptive behaviour?”

Disruptive behaviour is caused by

• The coach talking too much. If your coaching kids soccer, don’t waste long periods of time talking to your team. Young children have a short attention span, anything over 2 minutes and their minds start to wonder.
• Bad preparation of the training session. Soccer drills should be set up before the kids attend training so there is no waiting. Once the kids are bored, they will start to play up and fool around. This shouldn’t be seen as disruptive behaviour, after all they are kids and you as a coach need to provide them with an effective training session.
• Practicing only one activity or spending too much time on one activity. After a few repetitions the kids will get bored and start to look for something more exciting to do.
• Players waiting for their turn. Soccer drills that do not utilise all the children at once should be avoided. Young players left out will focus their attention on something else and you will inevitably see this as disruptive behaviour.
• Choice of Soccer Drills. If the exercises or drills you are trying to teach are too advanced or too hard for the kids, they will simply give up and start to fool around.

After reading the above, disruptive behaviour is usually caused by you the coach. Disruptive children are not problematic children far from it. They just don’t respond or enjoy your training methods. If you have a large number of disruptive players in your team, what can be said about your training sessions? Are you as the coach letting your team down?

So how do we eliminate disruptive behaviour from our training sessions?

The secret to minimising disruptive behaviour is to ensure that all the kids are constantly involved and active during training. Also the training session should focus on fun and learning. Remember young kids are full of energy and their natural instinct is to want to run and play. They do not want to be instructed to do this and do that, they get that at school all day long.

As a coach, if you’ve provided an effective training session and are still confronted by disruptive behaviour, then you must employ plan B. Plan B must be employed with the greatest of care. So what is Plan B? In a few short words, Criticise the behaviour not the child. By criticising the behaviour, you are not damaging their self-esteem and self confidence.

If you have tried everything and exhausted all possibilities, it may be necessary to discuss the behaviour with the parents. Removal of the child from the team will have to be considered. If the child doesn’t respond to game situations, then maybe the child is not suited for the game of soccer. However, if you are faced with disruption by a number of players, examine yourself first, maybe your training sessions are to blame.