Are you in love with a child? Are you sure about this? Are you in love with a child that’s not yours, not genetically anyway?

A word to the wise for those that have given their hearts to the little men of this world, to the future stars of the game.

Youngsters are not normal. That sounds horrendous so let me paraphrase. Youngsters are full of energy, innocence and have not been conditioned by pecking orders, authority or anybody else pointing the finger.

Kids will fight tooth and nail for what they want. Their defiance is seen as a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia to most adults. My point is young children are a little crazy at times. They hear music that the rest of us don’t.

Have you ever tried to put a hyperactive four year old to bed? Have you tried to brush their teeth whilst trying to stop them from eating the toothpaste?

A young child wants what he wants, now. No doubt about it. But is this a bad thing? Demanding want you want makes perfect sense, don’t you think?

That’s why we must exercise patience. Youngsters are driven by forces they don’t understand and cannot control leaving us to walk the tight rope over a 1,000 frustrations and sighs.

Do we seek proximity to discipline and the need to control? Are we intoxicated by the power to produce robots with no emotions or character? Remember, wild horses will gallop, bulls will stampede and wolves will howl.

Kids will seek and destroy. Kids will fight authority. Kids will grit their teeth. Kids will punch the air in defiance and will never surrender. Makes you wonder why we stopped being kids. Have we surrendered to the status quo? Are we raising children that will inevitable add to the status quo?

Here’s a thought

Don’t look to change your child. Harness the mischief, the energy and direct it towards the soccer field. Harness the mo. For those that aren’t hip or tech savvy, mo is momentum.

Momentum is cumulative; it builds and increases with repetition. Instead of controlling your children let them run wild on the soccer pitch. Let them exhaust every ounce of energy they have and let them pursue soccer immortality.

Trying to control your child while watching the tube or drinking beer deserves the anarchy you’ll receive. It’s time for accountability, so grab your hats and wear them. A father, a friend, a coach, an anarchist and a plan to take over the world.

Start with passing, shooting, it doesn’t really matter, just START! Introduce the anarchist (your child) to sustained effort (training) and the soccer world awaits. Turn the beautiful game into a heroic challenge.

Your love and attention will create self-motivation and self-validation. Your child will direct his energy towards the game and will inevitable stop eating the toothpaste.

If we fast forward 10 years from now I can guarantee you “Mater Chef” is no more. Those fat food critics have become a suppressed memory that only surface through trauma or weird flashbacks.

The Year 2020

It’s 2020 and you’re 100 meters in the air. The smell of smoke irritates your nose but you don’t mind. The orange smoke clears and you remove your scarf from your face. As the 80,000 capacity sits down you catch a glimpse of your son looking at you as if to say, thank you for this life. A tear escapes your eye as you think of the hours you put into training and into the MO. The San Siro stadium is now your home.

Lightning Strikes

There’s usually a moment, isn’t there.

When something happens.

The lightning strikes and nothing is ever the same.

Well, this is you’re lightning bolt. Strip away your self doubt and self-delusions and kick the ball around with your child. I’m sure the fat food critics will be just fine without you.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

For the little soccer warriors that are too young to read this, I beg you, the loving parent to pass on this message.

The carrot has definitely been dangled in front of the soccer community. Inflated pay packets and the media coverage is enough to send any parent around the bend.

What’s the catch?

Kids soccer has become organized chaos with young children as young as 5 running all over the place competing for ball time and their chance to shine in the spotlight. The coaches and wannabes try and harness this chaotic energy while the parents try frantically to control and restore some order.

How do they control chaotic energy? Unless you’re some crazy scientist, you cannot control chaos, especially when it’s organized.

Apart from the usual control methods like yelling, screaming and pointing the finger, parents are evolving into this money hungry beast that specializes in criticism.

Criticism is the act of passing severe judgment and fault finding.

What about constructive criticism? What about it?

For all you delusional parents out there listen up, CRITICISM is not love, far from it. To put it politely it’s a form of hatred. Criticism is uncomfortable and saddening and a guaranteed way of wiping that smile straight of your child’s face.

What?

You don’t like my criticism of you?

Well guess what?

I’m not going to sugar coat your behavior or your intentions to criticize. Criticism, judgment, agitations and constant pressure are exactly why so many young players quit the game.

Constructive my arse!

How do you feel when you get criticized? It could be criticism from your boss, coach, partner or anyone for that matter. Do you feel good about it? Do you embrace it? Even if the criticism is “constructive”, the words still haunt you and the feeling of self worth evaporates quicker than you can restore it.

Then let me ask you this,

If adults with all their experience and wisdom struggle with criticism, why are we subjecting young children to it? The Status Quo suggests that kids will quit the game before they become teenagers. So why are we criticizing these young fragile minds?

Time Out.

Instead of criticism and frustrations lets talk about love. Forget about soccer, contracts and everything else you’ve conjured up for your child.

Love is free and simple, yet so elusive.

Is it wrong to feel a certain way?

Why would it be wrong?

What would happen if you let your child feel a certain way?

How about starting and seeing where that takes your child. If you persist with criticism you become a part of the Status Quo and your child will inevitable become a part of the scrap heap.

Is it wrong to feel important?

What makes you feel important? What makes your child feel important?

Gather around the monitor and I’ll let you in on a little secret. Are you ready for this ground breaking news? Drum roll please.

Talking about what makes you feel important, well, makes you feel important. Try it with your child or players. Take control of your child’s dream and if needed, become selfish. Protect and preserve the love. Become grateful and enjoy the journey.

Being selfish to your child’s emotions should never make you feel guilty. A selfish craving of love is your divine calling, not criticism.

You have 2 choices as a parent.

Your child becomes another statistic and a part of the status quo or you try this new thing I’m talking about, a selfish craving of love.

Try it; your child will love you for it.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”

After the initial shock of the question you start to conjure up excuses why your child shouldn’t play soccer. “Sorry son I don’t have the time. Sorry son we can’t afford it. Sorry son I’d love to take you but I don’t want you to get injured. Sorry son maybe next year.”

Can you think of any other excuses? Chances are you’ve utilized some of the above or even created your own little master pieces. Before you think about the following scenarios, answer them with complete honesty.

“Sorry son I don’t have the time!”

In most cases this excuse is valid. Most dads are professionals and have pursued their careers for years. They have little time to scratch their behind and would rather spend the few seconds they have spare relaxing in front of the television. Your case is strong but the jury’s verdict is unanimous, guilty.

Your son asked you if he could play soccer right? He didn’t ask you to provide transport to and from the grounds. Parents that are able to attend training would be more than happy to take your child to training if it meant their children would gain another friend.

Have you noticed anything different around soccer clubs these days? There is a new breed that if let unattended will eventually dominate and rule the green pastures. Can you guess what I’m talking about? The new breed has been labeled the “soccer mom”. Gone are the days when males dominated every aspect of the game. The soccer mom is here to stay and it’s quite refreshing to see the levels of testosterone drop significantly around Kids Soccer.

“Sorry we can’t afford it”.

Juries verdict, guilty. Although times are tough and the recession has hit us all, soccer at junior level doesn’t cost a cent. Most clubs have fundraisers and help raise money to cover all expenses. Allowing your kids to participate in Soccer is not a cost. The value your child will get out of soccer cannot be measured in dollars and cents.

Soccer allows your child to be fit and healthy, develop muscles and strength, develop social skills and have the opportunity to make friendships that will last a life time. So the question is “can you afford not to play soccer?”

“Sorry son I don’t want you to get injured”.

Verdict, guilty, guilty, guilty, while the judge throws the book at you. Do I really need to explain this one? No matter how much protection you offer your kids the chances of injury are the same. A child getting injured during sport is not a bad thing. It happens. The same way you can roll your ankle walking down the street. Do you stop walking? Do you stop living life?

“Sorry son, maybe next year.”

The fact that your child has asked and is aware of soccer is enough evidence to suggest that he is ready. Coaches, clubs and clinics provide soccer for all ages. I’ve seen clinics that cater for 1-5 year olds. To suggest that your child is too young for soccer holds no weight to your defence.

Bang, bang, bang, order in the court as the hammer echoes through the court room. “Has the jury come to a verdict?”

Yes your honor!

Guilty!

Your son has been sentenced to a life of PlayStation and junk food. If I see you in my courts again, I’ll have to also charge him with obesity and loneliness.

Stop making excuses and give them what they want. Playing sport/soccer is the best gift any parent could give to their kids.