Are you a team player or do you simply hog the spotlight? Most of you are more likely to succeed at soccer if you work together as a team rather than as individuals.

Agree?

A team will always perform better when the day-to-day interactions are open and honest. A team will always perform better when it’s a team. No way, stop the press!

Believe it or not, what others in the team think about you and what you think about them is extremely important.

Do you have a player in your team that unsettles the dynamics of your team? Do you have a problematic player that never seems to listen? Don’t be alarmed, it’s rare to find a team where someone’s behavior or lack of respect doesn’t occasionally distract the team from achieving success.

But what’s alarming is a team where these distractions and/or player are not dealt with, acknowledged or supported in an open and honest way.

Here’s food for thought.

What happens when you’re annoyed, disappointed or even angered by a fellow teammate?

You know the answer don’t you?

You tend to talk to anyone and at times everyone except the player who is annoying you. Is there ever a right time to speak to someone who is annoying you or someone that has stabbed you in the back?

So what happens?

I’ll tell you what happens every single time. You don’t confront the player and you keep putting it off until you eventually resent or hate the player.

Sound familiar?

In most cases, tolerating player’s behavior is generally a good thing and something we are forced to do on a daily basis. But never tolerate behavior that affects your safety, health, integrity and your commitment to the team.

Coaches and parents should realize that it’s not just a matter of fixing the behaviors of their troublesome, disrespectful or ungrateful player/s. Coaches need to reflect and go into damage control and investigate how their behavior has affected the team.

Have players been tormented, abused or even victimized? Are they okay? Simply removing the problematic player doesn’t necessarily improve team moral. Some players never recover from a bout of intimidation or bullying.

Every player, coach and parent has a sad story to tell. Sigh, even I have a few. How we had our shot and come up short. How the environment or facilities were to blame. How the coach was incompetent and didn’t teach us the basics. How the coach neglected us and favored others.

Do you want me to keep going?

Before I continue I want to make something clear. Bad behavior is not the only problem. That troublesome player that disrupts the learning platform is definitely not the only problem.

Poor relationships can reduce the collaboration, cooperation and the peace needed to provide a learning environment. Training and drills are nearly impossible without the cooperation of your players.

The most important factor in a team is a forum or an opportunity where the players can have an open and honest discussion. Sounds simple doesn’t it?

Why aren’t you doing it?

Although open and honest communication within the team is vital, many players find it difficult to communicate in such a way. Stop laughing the same applies to coaches and parents.

Politics, apart from violence is the ugliest aspect of kid’s soccer. Parents influencing the coach and dictating who should play by sponsoring the team or the club is an old trick but still a good one. Parents involved in the committee applying pressure and selecting the team without the coach’s input. Friends of the coach demanding their child play because at the end of the day that’s what friends do.

What happens when the coach succumbs to politics?

Politics in soccer drives dysfunction and is the reason why some mediocre players get picked before the talented ones. A dysfunctional team is a great way to censor communications. Every player knows why Johnny is on the bench while Chris always plays without being substituted. Everyone you talk to acknowledges that Johnny is a great player and should be playing. Chris on the other hand, is a mediocre player on his best day but continues to play 90 minutes. Gee, I wonder what’s happening here.

Coaches definitely know it exists because they are being influenced by the parents but can’t be bothered fighting the culture. (Profanity warning) Most coaches in kid’s soccer are fucking puppets. That’s right, puppets!

Most coaches don’t rock the boat and are committed to the game as long as they get paid.

What a disgrace!

If you need to earn more money get a second job. If you honestly have the kid’s best interest at heart, play Johnny and bench Chris and deal with the headaches. Defy the status quo and ensure the best players make it to senior level.

Remember this, players especially young ones are not robots. They have emotions, problems and react to negativity the same way you do. The best players should always play unless you’re implementing a rotation system to give everyone a chance to play.

How does Johnny feel sitting on the bench?

How does Johnny’s dad feel sitting in the stands knowing his child is a victim of soccer politics.

Is this fair?

How does Chris feel? Although Chris is playing he knows he shouldn’t be. What about Chris’s dad, how does he feel? To be honest, anyone that pressures the coach in playing their kids is a big zero in my books. How he feels I couldn’t give a shit.

Fast forward into the future, Johnny misses out at the expense of Chris. Instead of Johnny playing for a big club he is seen playing for the local club because he just wants to play. He never got a shot at senior level because Johnny couldn’t penetrate the political filter.

So what happened to Chris?

Believe it or not, Chris makes it to senior level under the protective eye of his father only to be told you’re not good enough.

News Flash

To all those parents manipulating the system and influencing the coaches, don’t. You’re wasting your time. The political filter only works during youth soccer, at best.

To all those coaches that have been influenced, grow some friggin balls. Don’t become a puppet and never listen to demands. Coach the team to the best of your ability and make sure the team selection is yours, not the disgruntled parent, the major sponsor or the club committee.

Coaching youth soccer is a big responsibility and the primary objective should never be money. Never coach kid’s soccer for the money. If you need extra money I’ll give it to you if it means you quit coaching the game and all the “Johnny’s” in the world get their chance to play on the big stage.

“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”