All young players are amazed and at times hypnotized by the glitz and glam of the big clubs. Most players would give up their prized possessions for a chance to play in these leagues.
My question is this,
All dream about it, but how many players know how to ask for it?
More importantly, do you know how to ask for it? If your goal is to play professionally, do you know how to request this?
Are you scratching your head?
Well, that is the truth.
Most young players don’t know how to ask for what they want.
Do you agree?
Then answer this,
Has anyone taught you the art of making an effective request? Just a complex way of saying, do you know how to ask for something.
Communication skills like asking are not taught in school or at work and I can assure you there not taught at home.
Most young players with lofty dreams wouldn’t know where to begin. They don’t know what is available and they definitely need guidance for the path to stardom is not clear, yet.
The funny thing is this, if our parents didn’t teach us, if we didn’t learn it in school, how are we supposed to ask for it.
Without a shadow of a doubt we all have desires, dreams and ambitions, but how do we ask for help, guidance or even advice.
When I was growing up I was taught lessons such as,
“It’s better to give than to receive.”
I was also taught that it was a sign of weakness to ask for help. That if I kept my mouth shut I didn’t run the risk of getting hurt or disappointed.
The Parent Factor
Believe it or not, I was conditioned by my parents not to ask.
Was it intentional?
But before you shake your head in disbelief, let me illustrate with an example.
When I was young my Godfather used to give me money. My parents would always yell out don’t take it and some how I was supposed to resist. It felt like a game. My parents would say don’t take it while my Godparents would say take it.
My actions would say no, no, no but inside of me I really wanted that money, who wouldn’t as a youngster, right?
So what would happen next?
My godfather would force it into my pocket and the emotional roller coaster was over. No one asked me what I wanted. I was never given the option of asking for money and like most of my friends at the time, were seen not heard.
Many of us grew up in homes where what we wanted was ignored, too expensive or even put down. Our wants and desires were not important because our parents had already mapped out our path whether we liked it or not. We were not given choices, asked or even given preferences.
Schools Out For Summer
Remember those old wooden desks with the fold out tops that allowed you to store your apples in them. A quick glance down at the desk would reveal carvings by past students and the year they claimed ownership of this piece of history.
Did the teachers at school teach you how to ask?
If you had the guts to put your hand up to ask something chances are you were labeled “teachers pet” and blacklisted from all the cool kids. Did you ever put your hand up? Everybody wants to be a part of the cool kids, right?
Did you ever ask for help from your classmates without being accused of cheating or being slow or retarded? Did the class ever tell you to stop asking stupid questions?
So how would you ask for something?
You don’t know!
This is one of the main reasons why so many kids will quit the game before they become teenagers. They don’t have the ability to ask for things. Young players have been conditioned not to ask. As a result of this, they no longer participate and lose interest.
Does this sound like you?
Are you afraid of rejection?
Are you afraid of looking stupid and being hurt by others?
Fear Is Not Real, unless, you’re being chased by a man yielding a large knife going by the name of Jason and wearing a hockey mask.
Do you know what fear is?
The dictionary states “a painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil or the apprehension of impeding danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm and dread.
Believe it or not, only your mind can produce fear. Fear that is produced in the mind causes you to become passive as a player. Can you improve and develop your game by being passive?
Once this fear sets in you settle for less and start to watch and pass judgment on the players who are getting what you really want. You don’t have the courage to ask and you start to consume all your energies in hiding and trying not to make mistakes.
You cannot improve without practice and without making mistakes. Remember the greatest players in the world continue to make mistakes and continue to learn. The more mistakes they make, the better the player they become.
So start making mistakes. Be the first to volunteer for training drills and get out there and practice. If you’re looking for soccer success, just ask for it!